Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Parenting

Parenting is one of the most demanding activity requiring patience,skill in handling situations.While reading this artcile in Hindu about few Parenting skills , I went back to my good old childhood days.

Being the child of a teacher has its own merits and de-merits.We were constantly under the scrutinizing eyes of my mother which guarded,guided in the right directions.But it doesnot mean we did not have freedom to express ourselves.Of Course I could start any topic to my parents without dubiety!

There was always a thicker line of trust a parent should build with their kids. Kids should have a transparency with their parents and feel "Oh any problem I can discuss with parents and seek guidance"


The Author of the article mentions a list of points which can be done as a part of Efficient Parenting.I would like to list down few other pointers I observed from my dearmost parents.


Spending Quality Time with your kids
Of Course this is the most important aspect of parenting I think.Article's author says childern tend to follow by elders gesticulations.How true is it?

As far as I have seen we are more like a mirror reflecting our parents/elders
personalities.Our family set up also identifies similarities of a child's behaviour with parent's activities.My father always says that a child is initially like a clay who has to be moulded to bring the best possible within him/her.How can this be possible without proper guidance from parents and them spending time with kids guiding them?


Instilling Positive Attitude
My 2 Cents, Optimistic approach to things is one of the primary skill to be nurtured in kids.They must be taught to look at things positively and sense that everything happens for good.It also boosts the self-confidence within the person.It did to me.


My Parents always believed in these lines


"Every Day may not be good,But There's something good in every day" .How true?
Hope that you will achieve your Dreams + Optmistic Feel => Helps you seek the right direction in reaching the Zenith ! Of Course Sky is the Limit :)


Productive Interests
As I said Earlier, when a parent tends to spend quality time with kids they will identify their interests,understand their dreams and help them achieve it.It also helps them to stop forcing in pursuing thing which amused/interested them (parents) as kids. A Kid for sure requires guidance but will not like to be involved in activites which means nothing to them.They
should explain the kid about the merits/demerits of any interest in way he/she understand. A Kid needs help to mould themselves but not get bent to act to dance to tunes of parents always.


Behavioral Guidance
A child tends to talk,act like its elders.So parent's approach in correcting their mistakes should in such a way that the kid realises its mistakes and take the right directions.As the author rightly points out,usage of Mutliclause sentences greatly helps!
Parents should be correcting kids such that they follow the right footsteps and not hide themselves within the parent's footsteps.


Appreciations
Adults expect being appreciated for even the slightest act they do.So it is very natural for a kid to expect the same.Why not appreciate them,applaud them heartily? It helps them to put in more efforts to behave well and enjoy their success.

When I speak of this I would also to like to say that Parents should be careful in doing that.Have seen couple of instances where the mother's say "Oh my poor kido she is facing a hectic schedule after school involving herself in x,y,z.....She is the most wonderful chamathu kid I have seen ...blah blah blah" . In my opinion,Such talks will make the kid over confident.Sure a parent must back up the kid but it should provide positive effects.

29 comments:

Divya said...

Very well written Ramya!!

Divya said...

\Spending Quality Time with your kids
Of Course this is the most important aspect of parenting \\

I totally agree with you Ramya!!

Here is where todays parents....miss their role in thier child's good growth in all aspects!

Divya said...

\\Spending Quality Time with your kids
Of Course this is the most important aspect of parenting \\

Exactly Ramya!!

Have seen many American parents appreciating thier kids......even for a simple achivement,
though its a simple thing for us adults.....its a big thing in the child's eyes , isnt it!

Appreciation.....that too heaty appreciations are the tonic that boosts up a kid's thrive to achieve more!

Divya said...

Very nice article Ramya......thanks for taking time to share it on!!

keep going !!

Ramya Ramani said...

Thanks Divya!

\\Divya said...

Have seen many American parents appreciating thier kids......even for a simple achivement,
though its a simple thing for us adults.....its a big thing in the child's eyes , isnt it!

Appreciation.....that too heaty appreciations are the tonic that boosts up a kid's thrive to achieve more!
\\


Exactly appreciation motivates every human !

Kavinaya said...

//"Every Day may not be good,But There's something good in every day"//

very true. குட்டிப் பொண்ணா இருந்துக்கிட்டு பெரிய பெரிய விஷயமெல்லாம் எழுதறீங்க. உங்க பெற்றோருக்கு வாழ்த்துகள்!

(தமிழ்ல கமெண்ட் போடலாம்தானே? :)

Ramya Ramani said...

\\very true. குட்டிப் பொண்ணா இருந்துக்கிட்டு பெரிய பெரிய விஷயமெல்லாம் எழுதறீங்க. உங்க பெற்றோருக்கு வாழ்த்துகள்! \\

\\தமிழ்ல கமெண்ட் போடலாம்தானே? :)
\\

கவிநயா ரொம்ப ரொம்ப நன்றி :))

உங்க கருத்துக்கும்+ என்ன குட்டி பொண்ணுன்னு சொன்னதுக்கும் ;)

தமிழ்ல தாராளமா கமெண்ட் போடலாம் !!

மங்கை said...

Ramya

i never fail to mention Dorothy Law 's poem if i happen to address techers in my awareness programme.. and i request them to stick it as a poster in the notice board or in teh teacher's room

just have a look .. how true it is..

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live

எவ்வளவு உண்மையான வார்த்தைகள், சிந்திக்க வேண்டிய உண்மைகள் இல்லையா?..

நன்றி ரம்யா..நல்ல பதிவு..

Mathu said...

A great post Ramya! Appreciation is a very effective aspect when it comes to parents and children. For a child, the most rewarding is at least a signle word of appreciation from parents. It gives the full satisfaction of the success. And having experienced, this is apparently a bit different when being a child of a teacher, lol, they just ask you where have the two marks gone when you get 98%. I really loved your post. Keep writing :)

Sundar சுந்தர் said...

Sure, you will be a great parent :)

I agree with every point you made.

I too remember the dorothy's law mentioned by Mangai.

I think being a parent is the most wonderful thing, in my view, principles are great but its the execution that matters.

As a parent there will be thousands of decision making moments one will get and most of that will be watched and be a learning reference for the child.

Even those decisions that are not understood but known will be a reference in a way that is least expected/understood by the parent.

There is a great deal of challenge in not only doing and being the right thing, but also be seen, understood, make sense and accepted the way that is intended for the child. (factor in all the variables that are needed - incl. time, attitude above all 'change')

The easier way to be in control is accepting the fact that one cant truely control another human being, even if its one's own child. so all of this can come to Gandhiji's one line - be the change you want to see in the world :)

Ramya Ramani said...

Mangai,

Welcome :)Thanks for your wonderful Inspiring Words :)

@Mathu

Welcome :)Yeah every person needs a backup/moral support isn't it!

@Sundar
Welcome :)Oh you are wishing me that I will be a good Parent.Oh Thanks..But It a loooong way to go :)

Thanks for your wonderful thoughts.I agree with "Practice Before You Preach !" is exactly needed .

'நவிரன்' சதீஷ் - 'Naveran' Sathish said...

great! well written Ramya!

Ramya Ramani said...

@satish

Thanks :)

முகுந்தன் said...

//A child tends to talk,act like its elders.So parent's approach in correcting their mistakes should in such a way that the kid realises its mistakes and take the right directions//

You are right,this is very important. every parent has to
have this approach.

//Adults expect being appreciated for even the slightest act they do.So it is very natural for a kid to expect the same.Why not appreciate them,applaud them heartily? //

100% true.

Thanks for sharing

Ramya Ramani said...

@Mukundhan,

Thanks for your wishes too :)

Me said...

..ah pudhu blog..adhuvum inglis la!!!

..allo..eppo lendhu neenga ivalo serious aana topic lam ezhudha aaramicheenga?

Ramya Ramani said...

@Me

Welcome :))

Freeah vidunga samayathula ippadi than..anyways. nakkals postum Enlighla undu..podalam sooner :)

ஆயில்யன் said...

//தமிழ்ல தாராளமா கமெண்ட் போடலாம் !!/

ஹய்யா! ரொம்ப சூப்பரூ :))

தம்பிக்கு இங்கீலிசும் சரி தமிழும் சரி கொஞ்சம் தடுகிணந்தோம்தான் :))) ஆனா படிச்சுடுவோம்ல !

ஆயில்யன் said...

//Oh any problem I can discuss with parents and seek guidance//

உண்மையிலேயே மிக மிக நல்லதொரு பழக்கம்! அதை செயல்படுத்த பிள்ளைகளுக்கு பிள்ளையார் சுழி போட வேண்டியது பெற்றோர்களின் கடமை! :)

ஆயில்யன் said...

//How can this be possible without proper guidance from parents and them spending time with kids guiding them?///

பெற்றோர்கள் தம் பிள்ளைகள் எந்த வழியில் செல்லவேண்டும் நற்குணங்களை பெறவேண்டும் என்று சிந்திப்பதை விட எத்தனை மணி நேரம் தாம் தம் பிள்ளைகளுடன் இருக்கவேண்டும் என்பதை முதலில் தீர்மானிக்கவேண்டும்!

எல்லா பெற்றோரும் தம்பிள்ளைகள் பள்ளி ஆசிரியர்களின் பராமரிப்பிலேயே நற்குணங்களை பெறுவார்கள் என்று நினைத்தால் ஒரே மாதிரியான குணங்கள் கொண்ட தலைமுறைகள் தான் பிற்பாடு உருவாகும்! - ஒரே ஆசிரியர் எல்லோரையும் தன் கட்டுப்பாட்டில் கொண்டுவருவது என்பதும் கொஞ்சம் பிரச்சனையான விசயம்தான்!

ஆயில்யன் said...

//Every Day may not be good,But There's something good in every day"//


உண்மையிலேயே மனதில் நிறுத்தி வைக்கவேண்டிய அற்புத வரிகள் :)

ஜீவி said...

சொல்ல வேண்டுவனவறை எவ்வளவு அழகாகச் சொல்கிறீர்கள்.. படிப்பவர் அனைவரும் ஏற்றுக் கொள்கிற கருத்துக்கள்.. நிச்சயம் பயனுள்ள எழுத்துக்கள்..

வாழ்த்துக்கள், ரம்யா!

Unknown said...

Very well analyzed Ramya, if the parenting has all the ingredients that you have just mentioned, we can be something more than just parents.. friends for life!Isnt that awesome?

Ramya Ramani said...

\\உண்மையிலேயே மிக மிக நல்லதொரு பழக்கம்! அதை செயல்படுத்த பிள்ளைகளுக்கு பிள்ளையார் சுழி போட வேண்டியது பெற்றோர்களின் கடமை! :)
\\

Exactly ayilyan sir :)

Thanks for Sharing your views

@Jeevi Sir

Thanks for visiting and sharing your views

@Pranathi

Welcome!Thanks for your comments and Views :)

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Inilan said...

Nice information at the right time.!!

Thanks..!!

-Inilan
http://inilan.blogspot.com

selvam said...

worthy article to go in

selvam said...

waiting eagerly for the comments from the kids of Ramya.
undoubtedly lucky are those kids...

selvam said...

waiting eagerly for the comments from the kids of Ramya.
undoubtedly lucky are those kids...